Raison d'être (Reason for being)

First of all, I want you to know that this will be far from an interesting read. The subject, is, after all, me: the most boring man you will ever meet. I do not have any particularly interesting adventures, and for the most part, everything I do is trivial and easily marginalized. I am all but devoid of social skills and exude an palpable aura that screams "boring" and smells of old books.

I have been approached at times, particularly as of late, by those who wish to tell me that I look like a professor or a scholar. As to that: a professor I am not, but a scholar, perhaps, in a loose sense of the word. I do see wonder in virtually everything around me, and make every attempt to understand what goes on in the universe (excluding popular culture, sports, and a few other select items which are seemingly normal topics of conversation). Perhaps these comments arise from the aforementioned aura, coupled with dressing like a bespectacled mathematics teacher. Typically those conversations end right where they begin. It is one thing to get cheap amusement and a temporary ego boost from making a small joke out of someone different from you, and covertly wrapping it inside of a false compliment. This is not to say that all of these interactions are this way. Some of the compliments are genuine. However, no one really wishes to continue a conversation after that, and they tend to make a hasty exist before I prove their assumptions correct.

On rare occasions, it seems as if it is interesting to hear me speak. I take great delight whenever these small monologues arise, whether the listeners are showing genuine interest or, more often than not, at least feigning it for my benefit. It seems there are times when it is amusing to "wind me up and let me go" whenever there is a lull in the real conversation. Regardless of the motivation for listening, at least someone listens at those times, which does feel good to an extent.

Most of the time, however, it seems that actual conversation with me is a painful process for the other participant(s). Despite being interested in nearly everything, it seems that my interests are orthogonal to those of others. Add to this my deplorable social skills, which cause me to either be viewed as obtuse at times, or cause me to labor endlessly on items which could never engender interest in the person I am attempting to talk to. The majority of my social ineptness is only realized post ex facto, which only leaves things awkward once I finally come to understand where I failed in conversation.

The bulk majority of social interaction with me that is initiated by others takes the form of a search engine query.

"Aaron, what is (insert request for desired information here)?"

(Insert ridiculously lengthy answer, replete with useless asides)

(Other, individual, groaning inwardly for having asked): "Thanks."

(Other individual walks away in a hurry before more conversation starts)

I have actually been dubbed someone's "personal Wikipedia" when they do not have access to the internet. This is perhaps, my most useful function.

This blog will give continual insight into the life of the world's most boring man. I feel I can eliminate those who do nothing at all from being contenders for this title. Perhaps a better term would be "world's most functionally boring man", but that title seems a little labored. The shorter form will suffice. Should you choose to read, it will unlikely be out of morbid curiosity or to achieve sedation, which typically comes from hearing whatever I have to say. Regardless of your intent, I hope you find enjoyment.

World's Most Boring Man,

Aaron Lockhart